Hung Up on Madge

“There are no short cuts to being Madonna” -Madonna

Madonna. 80′s, 90′s and Today. Looks may change, but poses remain the same.

Last night I was snuggling my dog Keith Richards (yes, that is his real name) while watching “The Power of Madonna” Glee episode for the third time this week.

**Not so shameless plug: I, along with a million odd other Gleek hopefuls, virtually auditioned for Glee this past weekend. You can no longer give me a public gold star but you can still silently judge my singing pipes here: http://bit.ly/cQiQfm

I, for one, can’t get enough of Madonna and her freakish arms.

I’m obviously not alone here.

The woman’s been an international superstar for three decades and counting.

Why?

Besides having genius business acumen, here’s one hypothesis:

Madonna’s not afraid to be a bitch.

To quote Madonna and Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch’s brilliant Glee character):

“I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.

If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

To which I say, “OK! Be a biatch!”

**For the record: I don’t find women with a “take no prisoners” attitude who go balls to the wall (my own expression) after what they want bitchy. I, along with a lot of dudes, find them HOT.

Case in point:

Jane Lynch as Head Cheerleading Coach Sue Sylvester on “Glee”

Pourquoi?

Fearlessness=Uber Hotness

Another way to look at it, Madge style:

“Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.”

Madonna should know.

This is a woman who, at the ripe age of nineteen, moved to NYC with 35 buckaroos in her pocket.

Cut to thirty years later.

Madge’s albums have sold over 200 million copies, her concerts have grossed over 1 billion in revenue and she currently reigns over a 350 million dollar empire.

Not to mention an epic clothes collection and sprawling English estate that I wanna steal:

I admire Madonna’s candor.  Whether she’s mocking some sad American couples heinous couch on The Marriage Ref or touching herself onstage, when it comes to “putting yourself out there,” Madonna’s one not to be usurped.

Who, other than Madonna, could you imagine publicly declaring, “I won’t be happy until I’m as famous as God” ?

Outlandish? Yep.

Here’s what I find even more outlandish:

Madonna has actually achieved God-like fame.

Who hasn’t heard of Madonna?

What separates Madonna’s reign as the Ultimate Queen of Pop from other “colleagues?”

Madonna and Cyndi Lauper

My take? Besides bitchiness, it comes down to balls.

Yep, you read that right.

Can you think of a ballsier woman than Madonna?

No one puts it all out there quite like Madge.

After all, this is a woman who wrote a book called SEX in 1992 and publicly announced, “When I get down on my knees, it is not to pray.”

Nowadays, Madonna may be hardcore into Kabbalah and, again, have “crazy arms” (to quote Tina Fey), but she’s irrefutably taught us tons of sh*t.

Couldn’t resist another pic of Madonna’s arms.

Such as:

1. “Music makes the people come together” (YE-AH)
2. Women can have it all: A black baby from Malawi, a pseudo English accent and the bod of an Olympic athlete at 52.
3. There’s only one person who wear a cone bra and make it look sexy: Madonna.

But seriously, on a more serious note (cuz this is a serious blog), other than having the work ethic of an NFL athlete, if you wanna rule the world Madonna-style follow these three rules. They worked for Madonna.That should be reason enough they’d work for you too:

1. Be completely transparent. Unless you’ve been living under a rock I’m sure you’ve noted that Madonna’s note afraid to offend anyone. She’s masturbated on stage in the ’80′s for crying out loud. While I don’t suggest public masturbation, if you wanna be uber successful the days of hiding and BSing are O.V.E.R.  You wanna be a public figure? Guess what? You’re life’s gotta be public.
2. Be a machine. Looking for short cuts is tempting but, in reality, a complete waste of time. Even in today’s technologically driven era, ultimately “it’s all about hard work” and hustle. Madonna works out an average of 2-3 hours a day. Main conclusion here: “There is no easy way. If you want to know how I look like I do, it’s diet and exercise and constantly being careful.”
3. Be unapologetic. Adopt a “take no prisoners” attitude. Madonna’s honest and direct about what she wants and then goes after it like a motherf*cker. There is no “NO” in Madonna’s book.

All in all, when in doubt take a WWMD moment.

Ask yourself, What Would Madonna Do?

What’s the worst that could happen? You build your own 350 million empire?