How to Bomb an Audition

“I had never been to an audition before. It was upsetting. A grotesque carnival of human misery”

-Jack Donaghy/Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

If you’re a remote go-getter like me, there’s a strong likelihood that you’ve heard at least one person utter the encouraging phrase, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

Particularly actors. Trying to build a profitable career.

Like this dude:

Initially, 99% of an actor’s life isn’t consumed with back to back high paid acting gigs. Instead, your work is trying to beget work. And being rejected. And trying again.

Gooood times. Envious much?

As a profession, acting gets a lot of hype for being really cool (which it is) and different, but at the end of the day it is still a job. And, like any other job, in order to be considered for a position (or role) you have to interview.

But actors like to feel special so instead of using the term interview, we call it an audition.

Which I think is part of the problem. In most actors not taking auditions seriously. Semantics.

In a “regular” interview in corporate America what you wear is clearly defined. There’s a uniform:

Things have gotten more casual, but there’s still an awareness of what to wear/what not to wear.

If you were to scan a lineup of guys waiting to interview for an investment banking job at Barlcays wouldn’t it be safe to assume that most, if not all, of the candidates would be well groomed: hair clearly washed, short hair cut, donning a fitting suit, crisp collared shirt, polished shoes, and tie?

Sure.

Expectations in the “corporate world” are clearly defined. Starting with what you wear you to work.

Not so much for actors trying to catch a break in Hollywood. To little fault of your own.

Hollywood is an industry that breeds insecurity; chiefly because expectations are not clearly defined.

So DUH most actors feel insecure! They have no idea what to expect or what’s expected of them! These two variables combined would make anyone insecure!

You’re insecure to begin with. Then additionally, if you’ve completed a shit ton of acting training, like I have, your head’s spinning with a plethora of conflicting advice.

One nasty way this manifests is you tend to overthink your clothes. End Result? FASHION DISASTER.

99% of actors out there dress really poorly. Particularly to auditions, which I was acutely reminded of this past Saturday when I attended an open call for Todd Philipps’ upcoming production Project X.

Boy were things ugly. Take a look:

Professional looking, yeah? Would you take this guys seriously?

Nooow, open calls can be tricky because the part you’re “going in for” isn’t always clearly defined.

So what to do?

I created my Headshot/Audition Styling Package for actors to solve the very conundrum of what to wear to an audition. In one short, uber affordable in person visit I’ll customise five looks tailored to roles you’ll audition for (per example, Commercial, Procedural, Mid-Level Biz, Flirty Girlfriend). You’ll never again be stumped as to what to wear! For more info or any questions please contact me.

In the interim, when in doubt play close attention as to how your outfit makes you feel before leaving the house. If you’re tugging at your dress, worried your bra is showing, can’t walk in your heels, that’s not a good sign. Get your ass back in the door and change.

Your life’s already complicated. Don’t add getting dressed to your list of complications. It’s totally unnecessary.

Simple will out beat complicated every time.

If you’re feeling particularly down, play close attention to overcompensating wardrobe-wise.

Remember:

When you’re entering a room, particularly for the first time, you want people to notice you before they notice your outfit.

Use my following Interview/Audition FASHION DON’TS as a guide to keeping it simple:

What Not to Wear:

1. TUBE TOPS OR SLEEVELESS DRESSES. This is a biggie for gals. If you’re audition’s being filmed in a close-up you’ll looked naked.
2. COSTUMES. You may be auditioning to play a nurse, but please don’t walk in wearing a literal Nurse’s outfit. Casting director’s aren’t that unimaginative.
3. GREASY, UNKEMPT HAIR. Please remember to bathe. This may sound obvious. But the number of times I’ve seen actors audition with hair that appears not to have been washed in a week is sadly innumerable.
4. DON’T GET TOO CREATIVE. Don’t wear a huge flower in your hair. It’s distracting and makes you look like you tried too hard.
5. DILAPIDATED SHOES. Your shoes should look CLEAN, SANS HOLES. Not like pieces of crap you stole from the Goodwill. If you can’t clean or fix them, replace them. Check out DSW Shoe Warehouse for really affordable replacement finds.
6. FLIP FLOPS.  Particularly if you live in LA. I have friends that disagree with me on this one, but I think this look is waaay to casual. And flip flops also tend to be really noisy. For a cleaner look opt for close-toed shoes instead.
7. SHORT SHORTS. Leave something to the imagination. Too provocative for an interview. Save your shorts for the beach or the Saddle Ranch Chop House.
8. RIPPED/STONEWASHED JEANS. Worse yet, paired with a matching stonewashed jacket. Remember, the goal is SIMPLE. A dark, wide leg boot cut jean will win everytime. Don’t second guess it.
9. SHIRTS WITH LOGOS. Too busy and distracting. A subtle pattern is cool, but you don’t wanna wear anything too loud.
10. SPORTS JERSEYS. Unless you’re auditioning to play a basketball player (and even then this would be pushing it), there’s no reason you should ever EVER wear a sports jersey to an audition. TMI. You could be wear a team’s jersey that the casting director hates. No good.
11. WIFEBEATERS. They won’t go away!! To hear why I hate them, in auditions and life in general, take a look at my last blog.
12. MATCHING DENIM. Again, a universal NO NO. Change it up. Just because you’re playing it simple doesn’t mean you can’t interchange colors, fabrics, and textures.