Do’s/Don’ts
First and foremost, don’t buy stuff you can’t afford. No item is worth accruing debt.
If you’re convinced otherwise, please watch this instructional video with Steve Martin and Amy Poehler: *
Universal Style Don’ts:
1. Wife Beaters. As a noun and adjective are unacceptable in my book. Even in the privacy of your own home. Gross.
2. Jumpsuits. There are a handful of people out there who can successfully pull off this look; namely Heidi Klum. Subsequently, I advise you to stay far away. Jumpsuits are dangerous territory and flattering on close to nil.
3. Faux Fur. This is a very personal preference, but I do not advocate wearing faux anything. My attitude is very black and white; opt for the real thing or none at all.
4. Over-Accessorize. I love excess, but there is such a thing as over-accessorizing. If you’re reading this you’re definitely a classy broad, and thusly I’ll assume you’re well versed in such rules as don’t wear dark lipstick with heavy eye makeup (unless trying to emulate Eminem’s x-wife Kim). It’s all about contrast. If you’re wearing long, ornate earrings, don’t wear a choker; it’s overkill. If you opt for a necklace that’s a statement piece compliment it with stud earrings. Get the idea?
5. Overalls. Unless you are literally working on a farm (and even then I have a quibble) there is no reason you should be wearing overalls. Particularly because if you’re not on a farm, anyone looking at you in overalls will be wondering why not.
6. Super Long Nails. Again, this is a very personal preference, but I think long nails (particularly ones painted in busy designs, like palm trees) are tacky and scream “white trash.” For a classy look, keep your nails short and painted in a solid color.
7. Cheap Shoes/Cheap Bag. Regardless of how tight your budget is, shoes and purses is not an area you should skimp. EVER. One pair of fantastic $200 designer shoes will last you ten times as long as a $20 pair from Payless. Likewise with a designer purse. I have been carrying the same Yves Saint Laurent black patent leather purse for four years (which I scored on Ebay). It still looks brand new and I love it as much now as I did the first day I got it.
8. Paisley. Anytime I see paisley I think of the country singer Brad Paisley. Big fan of his music, not this fabric.
9. Batwing Tops. Most of the time I see a woman in a batwing top I think she’s pregnant. More often than not, she isn’t. I’m an advocate of tailored, well fitting clothes, regardless of your size. Stay away from shirts and dresses that are shaped like a potatoe sack; ironically, especially if you’re trying to hide something (like a gut). Wearing a sack will only make onlookers wondering what you are hiding? Instead, bring the focus on what you do love about your body (say your boobs or legs) and choose pieces that accentuate your assets. It will deviate the attention from your body parts you’re not fond of.
10. Fannypacks. No ellaboration needed. Correcto mundo? Wear only if you want a one one ticket to Nerdville and don’t want to be synonymous with “hot.”
11. Babydoll Dresses. There are many stylists who would disagree with me on this one. Frankly (in the gripping words of Rhett Butler), I don’t give a damn. I think the shapeless, well, shape of a babydoll dress is flattering on close to few. Opt for a well fitted sheath dress instead. I wanna see your waist, dammit!
12. Below-The-Knee Shorts (Especially on Gents). Shorts should hit right above your knee, not below it. Why would you voluntarily want to cut off your legs and make them look short? Why? WHY?
13. Anything With Holes. (Especially Shoes.) This may seem obvious, but I am accosted on a daily basis by someone whose clothing has rips and tears (which are clearly not part of the design). If moths have attacked a sweater, get rid of it. Show some self-respect!
14. Mom Jeans. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let Tina Fey enlighten you: http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=29142171
Universal Style Do’s:
1. A Coiffed Mane. Don’t underestimate the power of a great blow out. There is no other remedy as fast or effective in morphing a look from slovenly to glam. (The best $35 I spend each week is on my DryBar blow out.)
2. Blazers. This isn’t the ’90′s. You no longer have to buy a suit to get a blazer. Today, blazers are sold as amazing separates. There are a myriad of options that won’t make you look like you belong on Ally McBeal. Tweed! Metallic! Wool! Silk! Linen! I own blazers in each category and wear them constantly. Blazers tidy up an otherwise drab ensemble and are the easiest way to cultivate a super slick, put-together look. I’m particularly obsessed with metallic blazers; they’re a great transitional piece from day to night. (Don’t know where to find a chic blazer? Check out Rag and Bone, J Crew Collection and Burberry.)
3. One Great Purse (Sans Fanfare). There’s no reason to have a bevy of purses. How obnoxious is it to transfer your keys, wallet, etc. from one bag to the next each morning? In my book, you only need two purses: one black, one brown. That’s it. You can invest in a great evening clutch later on (can’t go wrong with gold). When shopping for a purse, stay away from the season’s “it” bag. We’re vying for classy, not trendy. Stick to a solid color with as little extra detailing as possible. ( YSL consistently makes timeless,show-stopping bags. The Muse in Black Patent or Brown Leather is a timeless choice and my personal fave. If YSL is out of your budget, Tory Burch’s Dena Hobo bag ($395) is an alternative.)
4. Patent Leather Ballet Flats. I’m obsessed with the Patent Eddie Ballet Flat ($178) by Tory Burch; especially in purple. Guaranteed to give your outfit an unexpected pop of color.
5. Designer Jeans. One pair – not too bulky, not too tight – is all you need. It’s the basic that’ll keep on giving. Stay away from anything with rips, tears or a faded wash. Opt instead for a wide legged, dark wash denim. 7 For All Mankind, Superfine, and Sass & Bide are my favorite designer denim brands.
6. Vintage Belts. Having a varied selection of belts is crucial to cultivating a clean look. For women, I recommend investing in a thin coral colored belt. May sound weird, but I’ve found that, like purple, coral really goes with everything. **Make sure you have at least one chunky belt and one thin belt. Particularly if you’re petite, thin belts are a great way to add proportion without making you look top or bottom heavy.
*Guaranteed to appease all illusionary thoughts that debting’s “worth it”
